I say this for all who have left an Australian airport needing a shower.

The planes!

It's not often i get surprised by the workings in parliament. But yesterday, the speeches included the reading of the Airports (On-Airport Activities Administration) Validation Bill 2010 Amendment. Swoon! Member for Makin, you had me at "Validation"!

The bill itself was aimed at rectifying an oversight in the legislation, invalidating over 100 000 parking fines at Australia's largest airports. It turns out that squeezing yourself into a shiny polyester pant-suit and Day-Glo vest is not enough to issue legal notices. Naturally, this strikes at the very foundation of Australian democracy, and so one might expect the resulting debate to be frothy. Because, as Mr Randall who followed the 'Member for Makin me Crazy' so delicately put it,

"The airports (On-Airport Activities Administration) Validation Bill 2010, while being technical in nature, gives me the opportunity to speak about the more substantial commercial nature of airports".

The members whipped through the details of the bill in about one sentence, and then went on to deliver a blistering assault on the monopolistic fleecing that awaits all comers to all Australia's airports. This is the kind of thing that makes question time worth the carpet.

Airports, of course, are a monopoly and the ACCC struggles to regulate their profit making regimes. When I say struggle, I mean it in the same way I struggle to keep on top of the washing. Pretty much waiting for it to do itself. I was, of course, intending to watch Channel Ten's exposing mini series about airport parking but it was banned in New South Wales, pending a court case. So, here's the juicy bits.

Airports make much out of parking, Melbourne especially. In fact,

In 2008-09 the five major airports generated around $278 million in combined revenue through airport car parking. This represents about 12 per cent of their total revenue. The highest car parking income generated was at Melbourne Airport, where$90 million or 20.5 per cent of total revenue raised was from car parking. It is estimated that Melbourne Airport makes about 75 per cent or $67 million of profit from its car parking operations. The 20.5 per cent compares with around eight per cent for Sydney, Perth and Adelaide airports.

So you're thinking: well, I guess the airport has to recover costs. I mean, maybe passenger numbers are up... or costs associated with running several hectares of bare tarmac are skyrocketing, not to mention the now infamous worldwide glut in cheek-hugging sweaty polyester pleat pants. Surely there's some explanation other than sheer, unadulterated greed.

According to a previous ACCC report, passenger numbers increased by 41 per cent since 2002, but parking revenues grew by 77 per cent, almost double.

Blatant, gleeful, scraping profiteering. Normally you have to tune into the State parliament for that.

I'll stop now. I've got trains that need spotting.